The Book I Wish We Had Read Together — A Story of Pain, Purpose, and the Vision God Refused to Let Die

 

There are some things you write with knowledge.

And there are some things you write with tears.

This book was written with tears.

Sometimes I sit quietly and wonder how different my life might have been if this book had existed — not just written, but accepted — during the most fragile season of my marriage.

I often say this with both honesty and humility:

This book could have saved my marriage… if only we had studied and implemented it together during COVID.

That season forced many couples into close proximity. Homes became offices. Stress multiplied. Hidden cracks inside relationships suddenly became impossible to ignore. What looked stable from the outside began collapsing internally.

And like many marriages, ours entered a season of testing.

But what I did not realize then was that God was allowing me to see marriage from two perspectives at once:

as a wife trying to survive,

and as a woman being trained to understand the deeper mechanics of relationships.

Pain became my classroom.

When Love Turns Into Survival

I did not begin writing this book as an author.

I began writing as a woman searching for answers.

Why do marriages fail even when love once existed?

Why do communication patterns suddenly become weapons?

Why do some conflicts heal relationships while others destroy them?

Why do some spouses grow together while others grow apart?

I began studying, researching, praying, observing, and documenting patterns — not only in my marriage but in countless relationships around me.

What emerged was shocking.

Almost 99.9% of marital problems follow predictable patterns — patterns most couples never learn to recognize until damage has already been done.

This book became a problem-rich solution guide, diagnosing issues couples face:

before marriage,

during marriage,

and even after separation.

But while diagnosing relationship problems, something unexpected happened.

The book began diagnosing me.

The Moment I Realized I Was Not Just in Conflict — I Was in Abuse

There is a level of relationship difficulty many people understand.

And then there is a higher level of abuse — the kind that is invisible to outsiders.

Higher-level abuse does not always look violent from the outside. Instead, it isolates.

It quietly removes your support system.

It slowly convinces others that nothing is wrong.

It makes you question your own reality.

Before you realize it, the very people who could help you no longer see your pain clearly.

You begin suffering silently.

You begin surviving instead of living.

And that was where I found myself.

The book I was writing suddenly became my survival manual.

Through the principles I documented, I learned how to:

recognize unhealthy patterns,

protect my emotional stability,

speak up safely,

seek legal and family support,

and plan necessary steps without destroying myself in the process.

For the first time, I understood that wisdom is not only for fixing relationships — sometimes it is for saving lives.

Speaking Up Was the Hardest Thing I Ever Did

One of the deepest fears many women carry is not pain itself.

It is judgment.

“What will people say?”

“What will my family think?”

“Will I be blamed?”

“Will anyone believe me?”

Silence becomes a prison.

But the principles I wrote forced me to confront truth.

Healing begins where denial ends.

I found the courage to speak to my family.

I spoke to my lawyer.

I opened up to trusted friends.

Each step felt terrifying.

Yet each step brought oxygen back into my soul.

The book that was meant to restore my marriage also became the guide that helped me navigate leaving safely when survival required it.

And this is something many people must hear:

Walking away from abuse is not failure. It is preservation of the life God gave you.

After Separation — When Dreams Went Silent

In 2021, after my separation, I was completely broken.

Not just emotionally — spiritually and mentally.

I had already built something beautiful.

A relationship solution center.

An online framework.

A coaching ecosystem designed to help marriages heal.

I built it alone — late nights, prayers, research, passion, and hope poured into every page.

But heartbreak has a way of silencing vision.

I shut everything down.

The website I built with my own hands disappeared.

The course framework went offline.

The excitement inside my book faded.

I walked away from my dreams because I no longer believed in myself.

I thought the vision had died with my marriage.

The Vision God Refused to Remove

I tried moving on.

I tried doing other things for God — hoping He would remove marriage coaching from my heart.

But He didn’t.

Instead, the opposite happened.

The vision grew louder.

Again and again, God reminded me:

“Your story is someone else’s healing.”

I resisted.

“How can I teach healing when I am still healing?”

“How can I help marriages when mine ended?”

“How can I stand confidently when my confidence feels broken?”

But God does not call the perfect.

He heals and then sends the healed.

Slowly, He began restoring me.

Not overnight.

But gently.

He replaced fear with understanding.

He replaced shame with purpose.

He replaced confusion with discernment.

And I realized something powerful:

The vision was never about perfection.

It was about obedience.

Ebenezer — My Stone of Help

There were moments I wanted to quit again.

Moments I felt unworthy.

Moments insecurity whispered louder than faith.

Yet every time I felt like falling, God lifted me again.

He became my Ebenezer — my stone of help.

He reminded me that the knowledge gained through pain was not wasted.

Instead of removing the vision, God added more wisdom, more insight, more clarity.

What I once saw as failure became training.

Why This Book Matters Now

This book is not theory.

It is lived experience.

It carries:

solutions for struggling marriages,

tools for rekindling love,

wisdom for preventing divorce,

and guidance for safely navigating abusive relationships.

It helps couples rebuild.

But it also helps individuals recognize when restoration requires boundaries.

It empowers you to make informed decisions — not emotional reactions.

This book will help you:

✅ Strengthen your relationship

✅ Understand hidden marriage dynamics

✅ Restore communication and intimacy

✅ Recognize unhealthy patterns early

✅ Protect your emotional and spiritual health

It is both a marriage restoration guide and a personal awakening manual.

The Program That Is Coming Back to Life

Alongside this book, the relationship framework I once shut down is being revived.

A solution center.

A place where struggling couples and individuals can find structured guidance, healing tools, and practical transformation steps.

What I buried in pain, God is resurrecting in purpose.

And this time, I am no longer building from excitement alone — I am building from wisdom.

A New Season Has Begun

Today, I stand in gratitude.

Not because everything is perfect.

But because God did not abandon me in my brokenness.

He strengthened me.

He restored my vision.

He empowered me with discernment and courage.

And now I understand:

The story was never ending — it was being rewritten.

My Book Launch Is Coming Soon

This is more than a launch.

It is a testimony.

A resurrection of purpose.

A message to every person who has ever felt:

broken,

ashamed,

abandoned,

or afraid to start again.

If God can rebuild a shattered heart, He can rebuild anything.

To Everyone Reading This

If you have ever struggled in marriage…

If you have ever felt unseen in your pain…

If you have ever walked away just to survive…

This journey is for you.

Your story is not over.

Healing is possible.

Love can be understood.

Purpose can rise again.

And sometimes, the very thing that broke you becomes the reason others are healed.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for restoring what I thought was lost.

The book is coming.

The program is coming.

And this time — I am ready to run with the vision.

🙏